Forgiveness is the spiritual laxative that purges the mind, the heart and the spirit”  Iyanla Vanzant

There is an innate desire to be validated, loved, respected and appreciated. When this important ingredient is lacking in any relationship, there tends to be a shift in the balance of power and one person sometimes has the upper hand over another.

In our subconscious mind, there are programmed messages ingrained deep within and at some point some of us become aware of our mental pathology. This doesn’t mean we know entirely why we behave a certain way or think a certain way. To get that understanding we need to engage in a process of self-analysing, soul searching and de-programming. The capacity of the subconscious is virtually unlimited; it permanently stores everything that ever happened to us. The job of the subconscious is to ensure that we respond exactly the way we are programmed, everything you say and do fit within a pattern consistent with your self-concept, your unique program. Your conscious mind commands and your subconscious mind obeys.

I found that most times when I felt less than worthy have been the times that I already doubted myself, my self-worth and my relevance. My internal dialogue did not reflect the life I imagined for myself. My spiritual posture was that of a battered soul and I found that I did not have the strength to stand up for myself. I felt the hurt and pain that bruised my heart and left me gasping for air. I wanted revenge and couldn’t wait for those who caused me the hurt to feel my pain, better still they needed to feel it 10 times more. My heart was crying for help and I thought my un-forgiveness was my killer weapon. I felt justified in holding on to those experiences, each detail played like a film in my mind. The truth was I was torturing myself and I desperately needed healing, healing for my soul. Nothing could help me get through my healing process except for God. He knows everything about me and He alone was capable of reaching deep within, pouring His love deep within my soul.

Whenever you find yourself spiralling down the staircase of un-forgiveness, take a deep look inward and examine the sequence of events in your life and your thought patterns that have led you to that state of existence. Whatever is going on internally will only present itself forward, and you will eventually experience the manifestation of what you feel inside. Your internal process will gravitate like a magnet towards experiences that will only confirm your fear if care is not taken.

To triumph after adversity, my willingness to be broken was vital. My guard, my emotional defences needed to come down so that I was open to God’s healing power. The perpetrator was no longer my concern or my issue, my reconnection with God was my lifeline.

What I learnt is that forgiveness is available to all, but the heart receives forgiveness at the point of repentance. The process of someone repenting from their sin is a matter of the heart. If the person’s heart or attitude towards what has happened is that of “I haven’t done anything wrong” this might affect them accepting God’s forgiveness let alone someone whom they had wronged. Forgiveness is a lifestyle, it isn’t just something you do once; you’ve got to ask for forgiveness, and be willing to receive forgiveness from God and from others. Forgiveness is continual and therefore you must continue to offer forgiveness.

It is vital to have a daily spiritual practice; it will help your recovery from years being enslaved by the programming in your subconscious mind. When you begin to regain your strength, reclaim your position and allow God to show you how much He loves you, you become open to receiving His love. I can testify that this will begin to transform you from the inside and will reprogram you. You will embark on a spiritual journey that will beautify your soul.


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