“You can unravel the gift of a peaceful existence when you become still within. The presence of God will become your outlet and his unconditional love will fill you up.” – Keji
Keeping a journal of what I learn each day is not alien to me. For years, I’ve religiously kept an account of my experiences and reflections. However, for a while, I didn’t feel like keeping a journal. I was too busy with life, and everyday journaling was no longer a priority. Life became a routine; everything seemed to be on hold. I felt stuck and needed to find a way out. It was during this period that I re-discovered myself.
I was stressed out, tired, demotivated. I couldn’t be bothered to work towards my goals and vision. Up until this point, I was on a roll, keeping a journal, watching motivational videos, and feeding my mind with positivity. I was taking everything in but had no way to exhale and release. Everything I’d bottled up was now taking a toll on me and affecting my health. I realized that keeping my journal was my lifeline. It was the outlet where my life lessons found a voice of their own. My inner voice needed a place where it could narrate my experiences. It was my canvas for painting a beautiful picture of my journey. Without it, I was missing an integral part of my life.
So, one day, I decided to act or forever hold my peace. I had to steer this boat or drown. As tired as I was, drowning was not an option. I feared that if I skipped underwater, I might not have anyone to revive me. I was not willing to take that risk, so I stopped completely. My life was at a standstill for a couple of years. I still woke up, went to work, and fulfilled my daily duties. Life was a routine, day in, day out. Once I felt like going to work and giving my notice. I typed out my resignation letter and even printed it, but didn’t have the courage to hand it in. I wanted this cycle to end. I thought giving up my job would solve my feelings of being stuck. I believed it would give me the time I needed to spiritually and emotionally rest.
I recalled my favourite line of scripture: “For in him we live and move and have our being.” Those words soothed my soul and felt like a hand caressing my heart. I meditated on them for several days. Eventually, I realised that regardless of where you find yourself in life, it’s crucial to set aside time to reflect and be still. I needed to ask God how I could re-align myself with my purpose. My time spent in prayer was reflective, my standing-still moment. I was still in my mind, body, and soul. This stillness was my gateway to regaining my inner strength and reconnecting with my life’s purpose. The moment I felt released was like an electric shock that woke me from my slumped posture. I was sleeping during my life’s assignments and wasting precious time. I devoted more time to prayer, and this played a significant role in my recovery.