My Life, My Lessons is an account of my journey. Keeping a journal of what I have learnt each day was not alien to me. For years, I’ve religiously kept an account of my experiences and reflections. For a while I just didn’t feel like keeping a journal, I was too busy with life and keeping everyday journaling was no longer a priority for me. Life became a routine; everything seemed to be on hold. I felt stuck and needed to find a way out. It was during this period of my searching that the idea to start my own blog was born.
I was stressed out, tired, demotivated and couldn’t really be bothered about working towards my goals and vision. Up until this point, I was on a roll, keeping a journal, watching motivational videos and feeding my soul with positivity. I was taking everything in, but had no outlet to exhale and release. All that I had bottled up was now taking a toll on me and affecting my health. I realised that the keeping of my journal was my lifeline in most instances; it was my outlet and also the way in which my life lessons had a voice of their own. My inner voice needed an outlet, somewhere where I could share my journey and share my lessons. It was my canvas for painting a beautiful picture of my journey. Without this, I was missing an integral part of my life.
So one day, I decided it was now or forever hold my peace. I rather stop trying to steer this boat or drown in the process. I was not going to drown. As much as I was tired, drowning was not an option. My fear was if I drowned, I might not have anyone to revive me back to life. I was not willing to take that risk, so I stopped completely. My life was at a standstill for a couple of years. I still woke up, went to work, and fulfilled daily duties. Life was now a routine, day in day out. I once felt like going to work and handing in my notice. I typed out the letter and even printed it out, but I never had the courage to hand it in. I wanted this cycle to end and I thought giving up my job would solve my feelings of being stuck and give me the time I needed to spiritually and emotionally rest. My day starts at 5am and doesn’t end sometimes until 12am the following morning.
My hope for you as you read this is that by finding the time to be still and reconnect, you get to the point where you can also recover.